my God shall supply...

all of my needs according to His riches and glory.

That was the first thing that came to my mind on Sunday night. It was about 8:30pm, kids were in bed and I thought I'd hop on the internet for a few minutes. I checked Craigslist for medical scrubs (what I wear to work). I have a few shirts and few pants that a friend so generously gifted me with. But I need more! The first post was for 6 sets of scrubs for $10 in Blaine. That's really cheap and really close. I just about jumped out of my skin. I called the gal only to leave a message. About 30 seconds later she called me back. I drove over there Sunday night and picked up a new wardrobe. I just couldn't believe how God totally provided for my need. The uniforms aren't all new and some are a little dated, but hey, they were almost free. Thank you God!

Earlier that day I went to Old Navy to use the $25 gift card my sweet Becky T sent me. Cha-ching. I came on the last day of their 50% off the clearance sale. I got 6 shirts for $26. If I had purchased them full-price it would have been $120. Yee haw! I love those sales. Thanks Beck!

The job is going really well. I'm just amazed, really, at my ability to learn stuff so quickly. Maybe it's not really that quick but it seems quick to me. (ha!) But I learned a totally new technique/skill today that I had pretty much mastered by the end of the day. I was proud of myself. This Sunday night was my first, "Ahhhh, it's Monday tomorrow..." realization. It was a strange feeling. I didn't want to leave the house! But I feel so blessed to have this job. It's a good one.

Today was one of those days...

I didn't just wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, I woke up on the wrong side of the world. (Thank you Sara Groves for those profound thoughts). I just woke up mad. And my day was one frustrating event after another. I was perpetually mad at my kids. I said "Shut up" to Simon twice today. That's like a curse word in our house. I did and said things to them that I just don't ever do. Why?? I'm really asking this question. Why? What happened? I just couldn't get the right perspective. I almost locked myself in the bathroom just for some P&Q. So I sat down at the piano and pounded out a few songs. My distaste for my day didn't leave. Humph.

It's not like I didn't have anything go right today. I got to spend 2 hours with my girls this morning at my Pampered Chef party. What a treat!! I loved that. And my bestest girl Becky sent me a "Happy New Job" gift which arrived today. What a sweetie.

I think this has more to do with expectations. Dang it. I just can't shake this thing. I have a really hard time when things don't go the way I expect them to. I have these lofty dreams of how a shirt should fit, a meal should taste, a morning should go. And when those things don't happen that way, I get all bumfuzzled. I can't recover. What's that about? I know I do it. So why can't I stop? I guess this is something that only the Holy Spirit can work out in me. Well, since you're doing a total makeover on me, God, why don't you just take care of this thing too. Because I'm sick of it messing up my life. It steals my joy and makes me forget what's really important. Thank you.

It's going GREAT!

I love my new job!!!!

Yesterday was pretty overwhelming because there is just soooo much to remember. But I prayed today on my way to work that God would help me really remember the stuff I learned and am learning. What a difference that made. Really. I was pretty independent today, remembering things that I never thought I would. It was a great day. The atmosphere is light and fun and the work just rolls in. The people are really friendly and helpful. I love it! I get to stay in MOPS! My supervisor was totally fine with me coming in late on MOPS days and working the extra hours during the week. Yay!

Skip did great with the kids. No problems and everything just went really smoothly. Pretty much what I expected.

I won't be checking e-mail nearly as often so if I don't get back to you quickly you'll know why. :-) Yes, this will take some adjustment. Ha!

Thanks so much for praying for us. We're still waiting until the 30th for Skip's second interview. Praying that everything goes well.

A new normal

We are on the cusp of a new normal. That is, what will now become normal for our family. I was offered the full-time job at the pharmacy! And of course I accepted. I start this Tuesday.

What surprises me the most is my feelings. I kinda thought I'd be really sad and want to hold on to the life that I've lived for the last 6 years. But I'm really feeling a lot of excitement and freedom. I didn't expect that. I'm not saying that I regret being a stay-at-home mom. Because I gave my children such a great start in life. They are confident, well-behaved and well adjusted kids. But it was a job that I didn't always enjoy. I struggled to find balance in managing the house responsibilities (inside and out), school, working out, play dates, bible studies, finding time with my husband, doing the things I like, etc. It really was like juggling 100 balls at once. And I seriously can't even juggle 3 balls without dropping one in 1 second. I'm excited about not having to look at the white walls in my home 100 times during the day and wanting really bad to finish painting them. I'm looking forward to not having to keep my house clean all day. I'm ready to really enjoy my kids when I'm with them, not always thinking about the other things I have to do or could be doing. I'm ready to not feel the temptation to zone out while searching Craigslist for things that I don't need or can't afford anyway. I'm just really excited.

What makes this whole thing really fascinating to me is what God is giving me a chance to change. I admit that I have been judgmental of women who choose to work instead of raise their kids. My comment, either in my head or to someone else, has been, "You don't have kids to let someone else raise them." What makes me sick is that I can just hear myself saying that. Now I'm on the other side and seeing that sometimes women have to work. For some it's money. For others it's because they are then better moms. I get that now. I won't be saying or thinking that anymore. That's a very good thing. I'm a better person for that. I'm very blessed to have women in my life that support me in this venture.

How all this will work out is still a mystery. But I know that this is where God wants me. So I don't have to worry about if it will work. I know it will. It's just a matter of time before he lets it all unfold. I have never felt so strongly that I am right where God wants me than now. It's a really cool thing to experience. I highly recommend it.

The aftermath

The interview went really well today. The office is much more relaxed than I expected, which is a good thing. The job sounds like something I would enjoy doing and definitely could do well. The only bummer is that the shift is 10am-6:30pm. That kinda sucks. But we'll roll with it if that's what God wants. The pay would be decent, not quite as high as I had hoped. But the person that interviewed me doesn't determine it, so it could be on the high end of what she said. I felt really good after I left and should hear something by the end of the week, assuming they can get in touch with all my references!

One thing that I found particularly interesting was the fact that the job mysteriously was deleted from the web site. The gal I talked to couldn't figure out why she wasn't getting any applicants. The man who referred me just started at the job a week ago. So perhaps the job has been hidden from everyone else and is just for ME?! How cool would that be?

Doing an emotions inventory I would have to say that I'm doing just ok. I was really positive and excited on my way down but I'm really kinda feeling yucky now. Mostly that's because we crunched some numbers and even if Skip gets the job we wouldn't quite make it our budget. And that doesn't even include the monthly cost of childcare! So I got really discouraged. But I have to remember that I really don't have all the information. In fact, there is no information to go on. I have to remember the picture I was given of our walk of faith right now. That I'm walking in a dark hall with only a candle that lights the one step ahead of me. That's all I can see. Nothing behind, nothing more than one step. And I have to just keep taking that one step in order to see the next one. This is more about how much I trust God and less about how much money I can make.

So we'll see what happens. That's pretty much all I can do right? Besides, pray, of course. I'll update this blog after Skip's interview. Thanks for reading and thanks for praying!

Skip's interview went great too! He'll hear back soon if he gets a second interview. They want someone in place by Feb 1 if possible. Um, he'll start yesterday. It's been a long day and I need to get back to my peppermint schnapps and hot chocolate. Mmmmm.

Tomorrow's the big day

I feel kinda like it's the night before school starts. The anticipation is eating at me. Tomorrow is my interview for the job in Roseville. It's at 11:30am. Skip's interview is at 5:15pm. Please pray for us! I'll blog about how it went.

Today we did church at home. I LOVE that. Skip on his slapboxx , me at the piano, the kids with their various percussion instruments or dancing. We sing. We worship. It's really fun. Then we read the story of Lazarus being raised from the dead and talked about it with the kids. Ella's understanding of spiritual things really blows my mind. She really gets it. Then we prayed as a family. It was so cool. I like doing church this way. I didn't have to get dressed up. I hadn't even had a shower actually. It's really "come as you are" - stink and all.

Anyone want to join us some Sunday? I'm totally serious. I promise to shower first. In the least I'll brush my teeth.

Role reversal?

Where do I even start? The last few weeks have been incredibly intense. We've been praying about what to do with Skip's job. It hasn't worked out quite like we had anticipated. So we decided that I needed to start looking for a part time job. That didn't go as quickly or easily as I expected. I had it in my head that I wanted to be a pharmacy technician. I'm really not sure where that idea came from. I also applied at local coffee houses, Target, etc. Nothing.

Then last Monday Skip found an interesting part-time job on Craigslist (where else?) He interviews for that this Monday. I'll detail that one another time. The only thing I will say is that it would mean that I have to work more than just part time to make it work. I got an interview (finally) with Walgreens for the pharm tech job. Part time. They told me I would hear a week from today (Sat). But I guess they liked me so much that they offered me the job yesterday. Good, right? Well, the pay kinda stinks. Earlier that morning (yesterday) we got an e-mail from a friend who is a pharmacist at a specialty pharmacy in Roseville (about 25 min drive from home). There's a pharm tech position open at his work. It's full time and pays quite a bit more than what Walgreens would offer me. Probably means the job is harder, which kinda freaks me out. Once I got the job offer from Walgreens I called this other pharmacy. The gal I talked to had already heard about me and encouraged me to send her my resume. I did and we set up an interview on Monday morning.

So what does this all mean? A potentially HUGE change for all of us. I've been a stay-at-home mom for almost 6 years now. And in the blink of an eye, WAY before I was prepared to, could be a full time working mother. That's an enormous shift. But for these last 3 years Skip has worked in jobs that weren't really fulfilling for him. They didn't really tap into his giftings and callings. He's sacrificed that in order to allow me to stay home and be mom. Of course this is what he wanted for our family, too. But if I get this full time job, and he gets this other part time job, that would allow him to jump head first into the calling God has in his life. It would essentially be my turn to allow him to do what I did for 3 years. He would then be stay at home dad. How does one deal with this potential change? I cry. I sigh. I accept it. I embrace it. For quite some time I have been telling Skip that I don't want to be home full time anymore. It's a really really really emotionally draining job. It's really hard. Probably harder than any other job in the world. To have to always be in demand and rarely have a moment to yourself is very exhausting. Mommy, wipe my butt. Mommy, I need a napkin. Mommy, I'm hungry. Mommy, I'm bored. Mommy, I need...Mommy, I need. And then to have all the responsibilities of the house as well. It's more than a full time job. So I guess that's another reason why I am willing to make the change. I'm ready for it. I think I would be a much better mom. Not so irritable or yelling all the time. I would really enjoy and appreciate my kids more.

Of course, this is all assuming that both of us get these jobs. But I just have a feeling, you know? Next week could be the beginning of a new life for us. If you are the praying sort, please pray for us. We have a huge financial need this month that we still need God to provide for. I know he can.

New Year's Traditions

It started on the eve of the new millennium. We were in Oceanside, CA visiting my parents for Christmas. Skip, me, and my parents rang in the new year by throwing pennies into the ocean with our left hand. Two years later Skip and I were in Kansas City at IHOP (not the pancake place). Mom and dad took 5-month old Ella to the ocean at midnight and threw pennies at the crashing waves. This year we continued the tradition! Instead of the ocean we chose the Mississippi River, which leads to the ocean. It was freeeeeezing cold and 6:00pm. We drove to a bridge in Anoka (pronouced Ah-No-Ka) that crossed the river and tossed our pennies (all 6 of us!) into the river shouting "Happy New Year!" at the passing cars. It was really fun. Then we spent the rest of the evening (just me and Skip) sitting on a couch and talking with our best friends. That was the best ever.

What? Me? Run? You're crazy!

Skip says that the only reason that he would run would be if it was away from someone or to the bathroom. I agreed.

About a month ago I decided that I needed to kick my workout up a notch. I don't like the cardio machines and hate the bike (butt hurts). So I decided to run. I had tried to run a few times in the past. I lasted about 5 minutes if I was lucky. My shins hurts, my knees hurt, I was painfully out of breath. But that was before I seriously started weight training. I can now run for 2 miles without stopping! I'm as shocked as you are. My body doesn't even hurt! I'm really hoping that by summer time I can run a little farther and will be able to run with the dog every day outside. What's even more amazing is that Skip decided to run with me. He's never been able to run because it bothered his knees. But he's trucking right along next to me! Who knew that exercising together could actually be fun?

I'm trying to take this whole living healthy thing seriously. I cut out the soda right around my birthday (Oct 19--go write it on your calendar right now). For the first month I craved it really bad. I wasn't addicted to it (or maybe I was). I only drank a few a week. But it was my sugar fix right after the kids went down for a nap. It was my recharge. I had a few sips of a Dr Pepper (my bev of choice) on Christmas Day. Couldn't even drink all of it. I think I'll keep it that way. :-)

I joined Fitness 19 a year ago today with the intent on keeping my sanity. I wasn't interested in actually working out. But I guess I did.

Mission Accomplished

Boy, if today is any indication of what my year is going to be like, then I'm in for a really productive one!

Last October I took a simple upholstery class through the community ed program. I found a large ottoman on Craigslist (where else?) that I wanted to recover. How hard could that be? Let me tell you. It wasn't bad only because my mom did the sewing. Since the thing was free (of course) and I got the fabric on sale, the thing really only cost about $20 to do. My hand is pretty sore from the staple gun, but it's soreness I can live with.

It's been sitting in my storage area for the last 3 months, waiting for me to finish. "Finish" meaning it had already been stripped down to the fluff and springs. Since my dad left for Indiana (permanently) yesterday, mom and I decided to tackle it right away. I'm super happy with the results. Once again, mom to the rescue with my home decor projects!